A Propositional Paper Stating Cause, Effect and Harm
Admittedly, I am as gay as the next man. I am old. I am an American. I am also fat, educated, and free of diseases. Some would argue my cognition can be questioned, but, truly, I have no sense of senility, dementia or dogma. I am just one of the many Average Joes in this fine country. Perhaps being an Average Joe may explain why I am having a problem understanding the substantial change that has occurred in The Gay World over the past 35 years. The change has been subtle but constant. It has perpetuated itself with the assistance of most if not all sectors of American society, but specifically, being edged on by mainstream America, and it has become so deeply buried into our gay psyche that I fear we are fast approaching the point of no return. Stating the genesis, the change, the effects and the harm are but my toil.
Background: When I returned from my first trip to NYC it was 1979 and I fell out of the closet. I could no longer deny what I had come to understand about myself as a person, as a young adult, and as a man. I had no plans on who I was going to love or when I was going to love someone, but I suppose I did at least have an idea as to how I was going to love him. Most of The Gay World was mysterious to me, and I had no mentors, but, I soon found the tribe and I was welcomed.
More Background: I have always been defined as fat, either by others, or, as I am now, by myself. I have not always been defined as handsome by others, as I am now, by myself. In those early years of being gay identified, finding lovers [read: tricks] was difficult for me. I thought the difficulty was due to my looks, and specifically my weight. Looking back now I know that it was due more to the size of my home town than the size of my ass. But, I do not discount the discrimination I felt due to being bigger than the average homo. This discrimination was harsh, unloving [as all discrimination is], and it had substantial detriment to my image of self and my well being [as all discrimination does]. The discrimination was ever present. It was also, however, controllable, but, I had no way of knowing this. I did not know the power that I had.
At some point, I began noticing that there were times when I did not feel this difference, this discrimination. There were people who sought me out specifically for my size and my appearance. There were men who would pass every young, handsome, Madison Avenue built homo in the bar, and reach out to me. They were determined. They were friendly. They were rare. And I never met one who took the first six no's as a definite answer. They were the Chubby Chasers. God how I miss them.
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| Taken from halfpint34's flicker page |
Now don't get me wrong. I am well aware there are gay men today who find men of size attractive. Those men define themselves as Chasers. They are a different bred than the Chubby Chaser of yore. The Chubby Chaser has evolved into this type of Chaser and that is the difference I am writing about in this paper.
Today's American Chasers do not chase. It has been bred out of their DNA. They still have the ability to identify, sexually objectify, and skillfully mate with a gay fat man, but, the mating ritual has devolved. There are still Chubby Chasers to be found in the world, but the US breed has died off and their closest relatives are in Europe. Mostly Italy. God do the Italians know how to chase a fat man.
Post-Stonewall, the American Chubby Chaser had limited opportunities for mating. The identified gay fat herd had been small in numbers since time immemorium, and with a very large percentage of gay men learning to fear weight gain[1] once Judy died[2] the numbers of overweight gay men declined even more. It was evolution that caused the Chubby Chaser to begin to adapt to the new social landscape.
The Chubby Chaser had to change it's mating habits or face total annihilation. And then, when at the brink of a mass migration to Europe, the bear movement began in the United States. This movement allowed for a rapid expansion of not only the gay man's waist size, but also the total raw numbers of eligible fat men. These two events, the near sexual starvation of the Chubby Chaser and then the rapid explosion of fat gay men willing and able to breed caused the phenom we see today in the American Chaserless Chaser.
Chubby Chasers use to be nonstop in their pursuits. When they found a fat gay man, they continually followed, hounded, flirted, and harassed, until they won their chance to mate[3]. Over and over and over again and again and again the onslaught kept coming. Every weekend at the bar, every time you passed in the bathroom at Sears, every time you were in the bushes by the river, there he was, the Chubby Chaser. He would ply you with stories of hope. He would make promises of great meals. He would offer weekends out of town. He was a never ending invitation to sex. At the time I found them most difficult to deal with. What I wouldn't give to meet one tonight when I go out.
The American Chaserless Chaser, on the other hand, knows far to well that there are plenty of fat gay men today and that with minimal effort they can secure a date/trick/fuck. With Growlr and Craigslist the Lone Star and Bear Bucks, all they have to do is show up and soon someone will show an interest and the game is a foot. No need to be inventive. No need to pay a lot of attention to any one fatty. Just wait, and the next fat man will soon be by.
Today's Chaser is often socially awkward and shy. I had never met a socially awkward and shy Chubby Chaser until 1996 at Lazy Bear. I wasn't sure what I was seeing. This strange young man who would look at me with longing in his eyes, but would turn his head or run to the other end of the pool whenever I smiled at him. I was totally thrown by his responses and actions. I was very perplexed by the situation. Since that time, that type of young man, the first documented Chaserless Chaser, has become more the norm than the exception.
America is a place where Chasers don't chase and fat men are accepting of this. I am saddened and confused, hell, I am many things, but, the most concerning to me is that I am not hopeful. I think I need a hero. Is it more wrong to long for the past or to simply accept the present? I think I need a hero. Is it wrong to wish for a romantic to come along and restore my faith in the Chasedom. I think I need a hero. Is it wrong to long for someone who wants/desires/needs a whole lot of man. I think I need...
a Chubby Chaser.
[1] Fags were the ones to make going to the gym cool. When gay men headed to the gym in the early 80's to develop the masculine body their sexual desires demanded, straight women in the early 90's demanded that their mating partners do the same. Women were pissed that there were hot guys all around them but not at all interested in them sexually. It was the gay man who brought on the commercialization of the neighborhood gym.
[2] Stonewall Riots began immediately after the death and during the morning period of Judy Garlin.
[3] Rent "The Ritz". It's a cliché, but it is an accurate portrait
