We had been married nearly 5 years. When we got married, she was my boss' boss. Shirley thought it best if we did not tell anyone that we were going to marry. I didn't care what people thought and was happy to go to city hall and do the deed in broad daylight. However, I did care for her, and I wanted to see her comfortable and happy, so, I suggested New York City. We eloped.
4 years and 7 months later, we are sitting on the sofa. She is brushing her wet hair. I am planning my next surprised. Actually, the next surprise was already planned, I am just wanted to lay the ground work for springing it on her. With our anniversary coming up, some months ago we had talked about renewing our vows. We would invite everyone we knew. This way it would make up for us not inviting anyone to the first service.
Doing this was going to be a lot of work, and a lot of money. As I had come to see it, if we were going to fix one mistake, we might as well fix all of the mistakes we made that first time around. Friends and family getting upset at missing the service was one thing, but other oversights could be corrected as well.
For example, if we were going to do the wedding over, the ring issue could also be addressed. The ring she selected in New York was perfect when we were on the DL. It was beautiful, yes, but, one would not call it conventional. It left people saying, "That's your wedding ring?" I was tired of clarifying that she was my wife, and that the large amethyst ring was the symbol of our commitment.
Having a new wedding set also gave her the opportunity to wear just the engagement ring before we entered into the holiest of unions 2.0. This idea had been buzzing in my head for several months. I was leaning more and more towards this idea as the time got closer and closer. Then one day, I had a free lunch hour and I went ring shopping. I bought the rings. This step directly lead me to....
Kirks Super Secret Plan To Get The Wife To Marry Him Again. It went like this....
I contacted a swank restaurant in town, talked to the manager about my plan and needs and she helped me get it set up. Two weeks from the day Shirley and I were sitting on the sofa, I was taking her to dinner for which the menu had been selected. [Chicken Cordon Blue on a bed of wild rice with Vichyssoise, and roasted veggies.] Red roses and yellow carnations were ordered and to be setting on our table that overlooked the Ohio River. Reservations were 30 minutes before sunset. A chocolate mousse cake was being delivered from the restaurant manager's sister who was a caterer in town. On top of that cake were to sit the rings. I went so far as to have a mutual friend of ours talk her into letting her look at one of Shirley's ring so she could estimate the size. All the people at work new what was going down if only because I had to switch shifts to make this happen.
Here we are, sitting on the sofa. I full of pride that I had been able to set all of this up without Shirley catching on to my plans. I being incapable of keeping a secrete with out teasing, said, "Hey, our anniversary is coming up soon. I think we need to start planning the wedding." To which she replied, "I want a divorce."
To be fair, it was the right thing to do. And the ends do justify the means sometimes. My life is much better without her. I cannot say, however, that I wasn't blind sided. But as I have reflected on this over the years, I have realized that when she said those words, my feelings were not about the devastation that my marriage was over, but it was about the embarrassment I was going to have process in deconstructing the up coming plans. And it was so odd to be concerned about what others would think at the end of this relationship, when I had been so unconcerned as to what they thought at the beginning of this relationship.
4 years and 7 months later, we are sitting on the sofa. She is brushing her wet hair. I am planning my next surprised. Actually, the next surprise was already planned, I am just wanted to lay the ground work for springing it on her. With our anniversary coming up, some months ago we had talked about renewing our vows. We would invite everyone we knew. This way it would make up for us not inviting anyone to the first service.
Doing this was going to be a lot of work, and a lot of money. As I had come to see it, if we were going to fix one mistake, we might as well fix all of the mistakes we made that first time around. Friends and family getting upset at missing the service was one thing, but other oversights could be corrected as well.
For example, if we were going to do the wedding over, the ring issue could also be addressed. The ring she selected in New York was perfect when we were on the DL. It was beautiful, yes, but, one would not call it conventional. It left people saying, "That's your wedding ring?" I was tired of clarifying that she was my wife, and that the large amethyst ring was the symbol of our commitment.
Having a new wedding set also gave her the opportunity to wear just the engagement ring before we entered into the holiest of unions 2.0. This idea had been buzzing in my head for several months. I was leaning more and more towards this idea as the time got closer and closer. Then one day, I had a free lunch hour and I went ring shopping. I bought the rings. This step directly lead me to....
Kirks Super Secret Plan To Get The Wife To Marry Him Again. It went like this....
I contacted a swank restaurant in town, talked to the manager about my plan and needs and she helped me get it set up. Two weeks from the day Shirley and I were sitting on the sofa, I was taking her to dinner for which the menu had been selected. [Chicken Cordon Blue on a bed of wild rice with Vichyssoise, and roasted veggies.] Red roses and yellow carnations were ordered and to be setting on our table that overlooked the Ohio River. Reservations were 30 minutes before sunset. A chocolate mousse cake was being delivered from the restaurant manager's sister who was a caterer in town. On top of that cake were to sit the rings. I went so far as to have a mutual friend of ours talk her into letting her look at one of Shirley's ring so she could estimate the size. All the people at work new what was going down if only because I had to switch shifts to make this happen.
Here we are, sitting on the sofa. I full of pride that I had been able to set all of this up without Shirley catching on to my plans. I being incapable of keeping a secrete with out teasing, said, "Hey, our anniversary is coming up soon. I think we need to start planning the wedding." To which she replied, "I want a divorce."
To be fair, it was the right thing to do. And the ends do justify the means sometimes. My life is much better without her. I cannot say, however, that I wasn't blind sided. But as I have reflected on this over the years, I have realized that when she said those words, my feelings were not about the devastation that my marriage was over, but it was about the embarrassment I was going to have process in deconstructing the up coming plans. And it was so odd to be concerned about what others would think at the end of this relationship, when I had been so unconcerned as to what they thought at the beginning of this relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment