There Is Something You Should Know About Me....

photo by: free use rights off the internet

...I eat.

I don't mean, I-am-human-therefore-I-take-in-sustenance-eat. No....

...I eat.

I've gotten so good [???] at it that I have a special set of shirts I wear when the eatin needs to be at a professional level.  They are comfortable, able to expand, and mostly stain free.  They are of neutral colors to go with the eatin pants that I usually have in my wardrobe but do not now because of the weight I have lost over the past two years.  Now all of my pants are comfortable, too large and mostly stain free.  No need to cull out a pair or two for those 'special occasions'.

I have not had an eatin shirt wearing dinner experience in a long time.  As a matter of fact, the last time I did was when I took my friend Ben to Memphis Mini's in the lower Haight and told him I would buy if he would order more food than any one may should eat on any one occasion.  Pigs, cows, and chickens were massacred that night.  I left several pounds heavier than when I arrived.  Ben, well, lets say he was sated.  Not that I don't want to say more about Ben, but this is his first appearance in Fattitude, and, he is a devoted reader, so I don't want to offend him.... just yet.  I digress.

...I eat.

I blog to you this revelation because A] I needed a reason to avoid the house work tonight, and B] I stopped and brought home Cheap Chinese for dinner.  Cheap Chinese has been a Castro Street main stay since before I arrived here 17 years ago.  They use to be a lot cheaper than they are now, but they are still easily accessible, fast with service and mediocre with the food [prices went up, quality did not].  So, as I have done for low these many years, I purchased my dinner that included 2 appetizers, a main course, a desert and a 'drive home' food.  To specify: 3 shrimp dumplings, 3 pot stickers, a medium sesame chicken and two sesame balls.  These were the dinner foods. A good meal for two people, let alone one.  But note, I did not stop there.  I purchased something to eat in the car for the drive home.

The drive home is three minutes if there is traffic.  As I leave the shop, I know I am going to be in my home and have food in my mouth in under five minutes, but still, I HAVE to buy drive home food. Tonight is no different than any other visit.  I cannot not buy drive home food, and I get the same drive home food I have purchased for years.  Fried chicken legs.  3 per order. $2.69. Tonight, walking back to the car I realized what I was doing.  I realized that out of rote behavior I over purchased dinner and made some very poor food choices.  I realized how ridiculous this drive home food plan has been. As I jaywalkedcrossed Castro Street I made my mind up then and there not to eat any food until I got home.  There was no cause for me to be a captive to my past behavior especially since it is a self-destructive action that satisfies only earthly whims and includes a food with the nutritional value of a Hostess Twinkie.  I was parked at the BofA.  10 yards to make it to the left turn lane onto 18th Street.  10 blocks up 18th, turn left again and a quarter of a mile to my apartment.  Again, this means my apartment is 3 minutes away.

The drive home food was in my mouth before I finished the left turn onto 18th.

...I eat.

I could beat myself up and tell myself what strangers would say if they comprehended my actions.  But, I am a lot nicer than most strangers, and it is my responsibility to love me, it is not the stranger's job.  And, the way that I figure it, I have given up smoking, playing the horses, wild women, drinkin and drugin and that leaves just men and food.  How in the hell can I pick between between those two, a sausage and a sausage?  My life is good.